SANDY..

Oh Sandy, baby, someday,When High School is done
Somehow, someway, Our two worlds will be one
In heaven forever, And ever we will be
Oh please say you'll stay
Oh Sandy.....

John Travolta, Sandy Lyrics. Grease Soundtrack

Oh man, did I have a thing for that Olivia newton John... She was so good and honest and pure. Untainted with blond hair, blue eyes and a killer Aussie accent....OOOOhh sweet baby Jesus... The rest of the pink ladies were either sluts or retards... Stockard Channing was like fourty, Frenchy and Jan looked like they had Down's syndrome....And Marty was two steps away from being strangled to death by her pimp and have her body rolled in a carpet and thrown in a dumpster... And don't get me started on Grease 2... Michelle Pfeiffer's acting was like dog shit on a Ritz cracker....

MORE FROM THE MAGIC GARDEN....DAMN WEEDS...

Come to the garden of make-believe, A magical garden of make-believe,
Where flowers chuckle and birds play tricksAnd a magic tree grows lollipop sticks.....

Paula and Carole , THE MAGIC GARDEN.

Lets get back to the 70's jack..... I don't know how that freeky hippie show Magic Garden ever made it to the air. There were two "Charlie Manson Family type" Squeeky Frome-ish chicks Paula and Carole running the show ( I think I had the hots for one of them)... A chuckling patch, a giant orange rodent and a hallucinogenic disc that can be directly traced to my severe night terrors and mescaline addiction... AND they would never say my name... IT WAS ALWAYS KABOB AND LANEY AND FRODO AND KEESHA....BUT NEVER MY FUCKING NAME WHY.... WAS IT SO HARD.... LIKE THERE WAS MORE THAN ONE "KRAMDEN" ON THIS EARTH.... I hope the two of them are stuck in a lousy old age home and the Jamaican nurses won't change there soiled diapers because there too busy watching there "stories"

GARDEN VARIETY FEET....Hosted by the Gnome..

I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends
A chance to share old memories and play our songs again
When I got to the garden party, they all knew my name
No one recognized me, I didn't look the same....
CHORUS:
But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well.You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself.........

Garden Party Lyrics, Ricky Nelson.

Greetings Friends....The biggest problem facing us gnomes today are horny dogs, snow over one foot and the occasional "gnome-nabbing" by drunken teens.... But the pro's do outweigh the cons... We can eat all we want from the KFC dumster and we keep all the change that falls out of your pockets... I've been to the Coin-star five times this week. Neatly pedicured feet are always appreciated considering there always inches from our face's.... But Be Warned Nasty unkempt feet will not be tolerated... It will cause us to do terrible unspeakable things.. Like urinating on your tomato plants or shoving your tooth brushes up our anus while you sleep..... Were not faerie's you know.

"A LEPRECHAUN" iiiiRISH WEEK FINALE

Leprechaun: Where's ME gold?

Alex: Fuck you, lucky charms!

Leprechaun: Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won't live through the night.....

Memorable Quotes from Leprechaun (1993)

As iiirish week draws to a close (It only lasted three weeks and came in June..) It pains me to say it, but....Ware's mE GOLD?... Tis' not faire... you've got all the shillings and me pockets are bare...... An irish curse I place on thee.... May your food become bland and tasteless..May your liver swell to the size of a bowling ball and become twice as hard....May your tenth drunkin driving conviction finally send your potatoe eatin arse to jail... Oh wait, Thats already happened to you? Twice.... And the wife too eh... Oh deer....