The Foot Blog

One man's obsession for feet and shoes...

Monday, January 30, 2006

ITS CURTAINS....


" Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. Do not arouse the wrath of the great and powerful Oz. I said come back tomorrow...."

Frank Morgan, THE WIZARD OF OZ.




Its curtians for these tic tac toes. It was a funny show, Got good reviews but nobody went to see it. That's show business for you, the flashy crap stays forever and the quality stuff gets swept under the carpet...
COMING SOON: PASSION OF THE CHRIST III, THIS TIME IT'S BIBLICAL....

Friday, January 27, 2006

TIPSY TOES.....

"You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk....

Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.....”

Winston Churchill quotes.

Oh yea.. this honey's had a few too many cerveza's.. No drinky and drivy for this cupcake... When asked if she could walk a straight line she stated "I was a dancer, I can dance a srtaight line...." She then kicked off her shoes and started twirling around in a circle making her fall and strike her head on the table... one ambulance later she was back up to the bar.... Way to go Baryshnikov ...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I DREAM OF GENIE WITH THE......

"Last night I held Aladdin's lamp
And so I wished that I could stay
Before the thing could answer me
Well, someone came and took the lamp away
I looked around, a lousy candle's all I found
Well, you don't know what we can find
Why don't you come with me little girl
On a magic carpet ride...."


STEPPENWOLF lyrics - "Magic Carpet Ride"

"Arise genie of the lamp" to see the elite footwear your concubines are wearing... Stylish and dazzling these slippers of the sultan can be worn in and out of the harem if you know what I mean effendi.... I would give these shoes two thumbs up by my hands were chopped off for stealing...

HASSAN CHOP........

Monday, January 23, 2006

WELFARE SHOES......

"You don't have no icecream!
You didn't get none !
You didn't get none !
'cos you are under wellfare, you can't afford it.
You can't afford it
and his father is an alcoholic !"

Eddie Murphy, Delirious

I'm sorry this problem needs to be addressed... When chinese slippers went out in the 80's no one was sad to see them go and the void remained vacant until the last few years when these atrocities hit the marketstarting off in the getto and working its way to suburban America. Harmless you say... Oh, I beg to differ... These two dollar and ninty nine cent spawns of satan bought from the "oriental" lady have pushed summer feet out of flip flops and cast them into a web of cheap fabric...

And it gets worse.... now that your feet are semi hidden you can let them go to the way side...busted feet and unpainted toenails everywhere... And the shoes literally disintegrate and look like crap after a days use and were never ment to be worn outside the house. Yet they are worn to movies , the mall broadway shoes and every other social event where they should be "VERBOTEN" (forbidden). And now they make them in all colors to match any outfit and there are plus size's with cute designs, and when it gets cold girls wear them with socks...

We must gather together my friends and well wishers to stop this insanity because one sharp toenail can cut through that net like Oprah on a baked ham and release a chain reaction of fractured feet the likes this nation has never seen...

THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS AMERICA...

Thursday, January 19, 2006

BUSTED......

"Bad boys, bad boys Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do When they come for you....
When you were eight And you had bad traits, You go to school And learn the golden rule, So why are you Acting like a bloody fool, If you get hot You must get cool
Nobody naw give you no break, Police naw give you no break, Soldier naw give you no break, Not even you 'idren naw give you no break Hey hey.."


BAD BOYS (Theme from COPS)
by INNER CIRCLE.


10-13 central... we need backup on this one.. It looks like she's been kicking around cinder blocks like soccer balls with her bare feet... send a bus (ambulance) and keep those units rolling... Notify the boss central she's an E.D.P ( EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED PERSON) and bring the tazer..... All right slow it down, no further central she's under... six M.O.S. to the hospital.... were 98...

BUSTED........

THE INCREDIBLE HULK....



"Father: Stop your bawling, you weak little speck of human trash.

Bruce Banner: You're making me angry. You wouldn't like me when im angry....."

Hulk Smash.....

Memorable Quotes from "The Hulk" (2003)

The word Escape has many meanings for instance in "The Pina Colada Song" Rupert Holmes felt escape was a good thing, a change for the better and was rewarded in the end. Rupert Holmes did not envision the kind of escape these feet are trying to do in which the skin is so stretched out that the bones are trying to escape through the callouses... After taking tis photo I was lucky to escape with my life.... moments later these feets turned green and attacked a nearby army base...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

MIDNIGHT SNACK...

"I'm gonna wait 'till the midnight hour
That's when my love comes tumbling down I'm gonna wait 'till the midnight hour When theres no one else around
I'm gonna take you girl and hold you
Do all things I told you in the midnight hour..."

Wilson Pickett lyrics, In The Midnight Hour.

Strange things happen in the wee hours of the morning. You can also find wierd foodstuffs in the ice box (refrigerator to you youngins) old chinese food or leftover pork might look like feet but slap on some yellow american cheese and some dill pickels, and a sweet coke to wash it down and you got yourself a meal son......

they may take my kids away from me after this......

Friday, January 13, 2006

MY GIRL LOLLIPOP

"My girl Lollipop, you make my heart go giddy up, You are as sweet as candy, you are my sugar dandy, Oh, oh, my girl lollipop, never ever leave me, Because it would grieve me, my heart told me so...

My girl Lollipop, you make my heart go giddy up, You set my world on fire, you are my one desire, Yeah, My girl Lollipop."


Lyrics Bad Manners, "My Girl Lollipop".

These beauties should'nt be lying around they should be sold in a candy store by the register ten cents for the small ones, fifty cents for the big ones because they probably contain gum.. Yum Yum.....

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

EXCESSIVE FOOT JEWELRY, LIKE A SILK HAT ON A PIG....


"It's a classy place. You've been in here a million times. Tommy taking over this joint is like putting a silk hat on a pig. I don't mean disrespect, but that's the way it is.
But I'm worried, I mean, I'm hearin' all kinds a fuckin' bad things. I mean he's treating me like I'm a fuckin' half-a-fag or somethin'. I'm gonna wind up a lammist, I gotta go on the fuckin' lam in order to get away from this guy? This ain't right, Paulie. "

Sonny Bunz, GOODFELLAS (1990)



How many toe rings are too many two?, three? sometimes one might be too much if your feet are busted. Why would you call unnecessary attention to feet like this, Its like saying "Hey look at the cheap silver rings on my toes and while your at it take notice of my bunion and my freakishly long middle toe..." Another few hours in the sun and she'll be ready for Miami where dinner is at four and you wear support pantyhose to the beach.....

Monday, January 09, 2006

SCRUNCHIE.....

"Margot: Here, you're gonna need this.
Elle: Your scrunchie?
Margot: My LUCKY scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final.
Margot: Yeah... Luckily! "

Memorable Quotes from Legally Blonde (2001).

Any way you spell it that's what these toes are doing. It could be shrinkage from the cold or the fear of a total stranger taking photos of her feet. Either way you cant escape the fact that she has thumbs for big toes but that is a discussion for another day.....

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

ON THE MENU TODAY...

FEET UNDER GLASS:
1. Add one naive 21 yr. old

2. Explain this odd photo will make her rich and famous

3. Add one pyrex dish

4. Kick her out the front door before the wife gets home.

Ok, I know somthing is wrong with me. You know there is somthing wrong with me, For Christ sake I'm running a foot website.. But in my defense you have logged on of your own free will, I mean no one is holding a gun to your head (yet).. And considering my wife has'nt seen monday's post I live to see another day.....

Sunday, January 01, 2006

LETS START THE NEW YEAR OUT WITH A BANG....

"Got those pretty little straps around your ankles
Got those shiny little chains around your heart.
You go to have your independence,
But you don’t know just where to start.
Oh, no, pretty mama, what you gonna Do in those shoes?

Eagles Lyrics, Those Shoes. (1979)

This year has been good to me, so starting it off with a good Kentucky ass kickin' by my wife is always a good start. Across the room at this lame party I saw a vision of loveliness with stunning green eyes that you can easily get lost in for hours. We've met before and surprisingly she wanted to model for the sight I resisted to the best of my ability with no avail..... All I can say is HUBA-HUBA.... So what if she's 15 yrs. my junior...

LET THE BEATINGS BEGIN.....





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