GARDEN VARIETY FEET....Hosted by the Gnome..

I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends
A chance to share old memories and play our songs again
When I got to the garden party, they all knew my name
No one recognized me, I didn't look the same....
CHORUS:
But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well.You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself.........

Garden Party Lyrics, Ricky Nelson.

Greetings Friends....The biggest problem facing us gnomes today are horny dogs, snow over one foot and the occasional "gnome-nabbing" by drunken teens.... But the pro's do outweigh the cons... We can eat all we want from the KFC dumster and we keep all the change that falls out of your pockets... I've been to the Coin-star five times this week. Neatly pedicured feet are always appreciated considering there always inches from our face's.... But Be Warned Nasty unkempt feet will not be tolerated... It will cause us to do terrible unspeakable things.. Like urinating on your tomato plants or shoving your tooth brushes up our anus while you sleep..... Were not faerie's you know.