NAUGHTY AND NICE.. # 5 THE BRUTAL DICTATORS ARE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE....

"We are ready to sacrifice our souls, our children and our families so as not to give up . Allah is on our side. That is why we will beat the aggressor.Don't be attracted to easy paths because the paths that make your feet bleed are the only way to get ahead in life.

Saddam Hussein: Great Lessons, Commandments To Strugglers, The Patient and Holy Warriors.

Oh ho-ho those nutty tyrant's, what they wont do for a chuckle ho-ho. these two fascist oppressor's were found in squalor conditions deep inside a spider hole. Outside the courtroom the hoards chanted "free the funky four"..... It ended poorly, no clemency was given. The execution was carried out by Dr. Scholl (that bastard)..... What a shame all this for showing a pinky toe in public..

Krinkle toes makes this decree: "These Naughty toes were Nice........"

Merry freakin' Christmas Oh-Ho......

"THE NAUGHTY AND THE NICE.... # 4"

[Barnaby disappears down well. Stannie and Ollie corner him]
Stannie Dum: You better come up dead or alive!
Ollie Dee: Now, how can he come up dead when he's alive?
Stannie Dum: Let's drop a rock on him. That'll make him dead when he's alive. Ollie Dee: Now you're talkin' sense.....

Memorable Quotes from Babes in Toyland (Aka) MARCH OF THE WOODEN SOLDIERS (1934).

Fuzzy wuzzy "wuz" a bear GRRROWWLLL... Oh Ho-Ho hot Pink fur can always get my jingle bells rockin' Oh-No Ho ho! So warm and fuzzy, not like those elves what an angry bunch. I'd use Leprechauns but the drinking on the job; and always "I got to leave early for my A-A meetings" then you see them later at the pub... And don't even get me started on Gnomes...


What can I say, Pink is my new favorite color...... Nice

NAUGHTY OR NICE # 3.....

"What are you gonna do to us?
Plankton was very specific.
Plankton?
For some reason,he wanted me to step on you.
Step on us?
Yeah! That way you'll never find out that he stole the crown! Perhaps I've said too much.
That's a big boot.
Don't worry. This will only hurt a lot. I love this job!

Memorable Quotes, The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.

O-Ho Hoooo I found these gargantuan feet stomping the tiny villagers while they burned their torches, and threw tiny pitchforks with no avail.. Ho-Ho she gives a new meaning to the name "Krinkle Toes" Oh No! Ho-Ho

With the union on strike the judge has issued judgment in this case..... Naughty..

NAUGHTY OR NICE # 2...

"That's how I met Charlie Manson. He wanted to be in the music business. He babysat my three kids. He didn't chop no heads off, he was very Nice with me.."

Grandpa Al Lewis,
Formerly of "The Munsters".

Oh-ho kiddies that charlie has been a good boy this year, O'l krinkle toes planned to bring him a shiny new christmas shiv O'ho-ho...Anyway while jumping from rooftop to rooftop (work related) O'l Krinkle got a areal view of these festive foots and knew they would make the cut Ho-ho.. I'd hang these tootsies on my tree anyday Oh-ho..



The jury's back on this one folks....Nice......

NAUGHTY OR NICE?

"he's making a list checkin it twice,
he's gonna find out who's naughty or nice,
Santa Claus is coming to town....."

Lyrics various artists, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.


Ho-ho-hoe there kiddies its your old pal Kris Krinkle Toes shirking my obvious responsibilities to spread some Christmas cheer by exposing my naughty and nice list...So what do we have here... Busted thong sandal, Toenails black like she's been kickin around coal.. and whats that, BIRDSHIT? Oh No Ho-Ho....


I may have been drinking, but I say this one's Naughty... Real Freaky Naughty...

A TRUE MONET....

"Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Cher: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Christian: Hagsville.
Cher: See?..."

Memorable Quotes from Clueless (1995).

As a true "artist" I am exposed to the full spectrum of my craft from the high end hoity-toity types to the filthy street urchon's but this is the path I chose...Anyway I captured this work of art outside a fine Italian restaurant in Napels F.L. just moments before my subject was wisked away by her G.Q. boyfriend/daddy in his 50,000 dollar car.. I forget the brand name of the shoe but be rest assured you won't be finding it at your local shopping center...Anyway the point to be made here is:

1. Just because you spent 500 at the spa that day dosen't mean the guy working on your feet knew what he was doing.

2. If your toes are that close to the edge of your shoe buy a larger size or let them jump off..if they don't live it was ment to be..

DANCER FEET: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY...

"I`M YOUR PRIVATE DANCER
A DANCER FOR MONEY
I`LL DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO
I`M YOUR PRIVATE DANCER
A DANCER FOR MONEY
AND ANY OLD MUSIC WILL DO..."

TINA TURNER LYRICS, PRIVATE DANCER.

I know, you don't have to say it.. Anyway many women claim to be dancers (ballerina in this case) but how many are truly dedicated enough to their craft to do this to themselves.. From what I'm told the big toe becomes deformed and looses the nail and the rest of the toes kind of break and twist sideways to fit into those shoes. To me it sounds like some kind of war time atrocity where the villans will be held accountable at a later date. Well, Until this kind of torture is covered by the Geneva Convention Treaty we can just be glad these anorexic, cadaverous beautys are rarely see with their shoes off...

GGGGGG-GHOST FEET...

"Cas-per the friend-ly ghost,the friend-li-est ghost you know.Though grown-ups might look at him with fright,the child-ren all love him so.

Cas-per the friend-ly ghost, he couldn't be bad or mean.He'll romp and play, sing and dance all day,the friend-li-est ghost you've seen..."

Television/TV Theme Lyrics, Casper,The Friendly Ghost.

My apologies, these feet are long over due. So pale there almost transparent. Soft to the touch like tissue paper (the good stuff), you can almost put your fingers through them. Unless there in motion you can hardly see a wrinkle or a blemish. It would appear as if they were bleached (and this photo was taken in August). It would appear O my brothers and well wishers we have witnessed an poltergeist.
Of the sexy kind....

GUS, SHE'S A BIGFOOT....

"Your wife is a Bigfoot, isn't she Gus? That's why the bitch's mustache is so Motherf*ckin thick ! Cos you shaved the bitch down and taught it to speak !" "I know a motherf*ckin' Bigfoot when I see one ! You bring a Bigfoot in my home, Gus ? On my children ? The bitch can't talk, she can't walk the fryer steps ! She's not trained well, Gus !..."
Eddie Murphy, Delirious.(1983)


Bloody hell.... Gidd'ay folks, This shelia was one to remember... There I was using me old Bushman's hanky (Emitting nasal mucus by placing one index finger on the outside of the nose, thus blocking one nostril and blowing). When suddenly the earth moved. The birds and small animals headed for shelter. I hid in fear leaving behind me precious Bush oysters (nasal mucus) . Then she passed, cracking the ground with each step. Downing mighty trees like they were toothpicks.. Using the distracting call " HEY BIGFOOT YOUR SHOE'S UNTIED" I confused the mighty beast long enough to snap this shot... Call me what you will; but at a confirmed "11 and 1/2" I nearly floated a meat pie in me trousers....

RIGHT TOE IN THE CORNER POCKET....

"Johnny Doyle: Oh, did I stutter? Everybody gone all quiet and shit? About a minute ago it was like an evening at the Apollo up in this motherfucker, now all of a sudden it's quiet as a church...
Chico: You'd better watch your mouth Johnny!
Johnny Doyle: You watch my mouth Chico! Cause you sure as hell don't wanna watch me play pool. Unless, of course, I'm blind folded and hand cuffed with a pool cue stickin' out of my ass. Or maybe you'd bet the twenty thousand then?
Memorable Quotes from Poolhall Junkies (2002).

I always say "give me twenty good toes and there's nothing I can't do".... Except cure world hunger, or balance the budget (or even my checkbook)... or be able to teleport myself across space and time..... But other than that with twenty good toes there is NOTHING I cant do... and liquor...LOTS of liquor.... and a pool table, and two cue's.... and the square chalk stuff... But thats it, Nothing else.. Well maybe some music....

FLASHBACK 1999.....

"They say two thousand zero, zero, party over,Oops, out of time! So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999!
I was dreamin' when I wrote this So sue me if I go too fast. But life is just a partyAnd parties weren't meant to last...."
Prince song lyrics, 1999.

(Flashback,Flashback..) Ahh 1999, I was much thinner. I still had hopes and dreams...Ricky Martin had the #1 song livin' La Vida Loca (I never got tired of that one)... Crack was still popular and That talentless spoiled vapid bitch "GWYNETH PALTROW" was reeling from winning the oscar the year before and was still getting work in crappy movies like "The Talented Mr. Ripley" ...Anyway this unfortunate woman thought wearing patent leather sandals would divert attention away from her painfully average feet... I mean seriously, there not good, there not bad.. Not too tan, not too shabby.. There almost non-existent... What a shame to go through life like that...

THE GRAPES OF WRATH...

"Hoover: "The Grapes of Wrath"? I don't get it.
Nelson: Here's the grapes...and here's the wrath! [pounds grapes with a mallet, soaking Skinner and Miss Hoover] [all the kids groan]
Skinner: [dismissive] Yes, yes, very good wrath.-- Remarkable control of his temper......."
The Simpsons, episode [1F17] Lisa's Rival

John Steinbeck depicts the lives of ordinary people striving to preserve their humanity in the face of social and economic desperation.... My website has nothing to do with this shit..It's hardly my fault that they make grapes small enough to squeeze between every toe. Why don't you blame the California vineyards or the minum wage workers that pick them... Or how about the sorting machines and the overpriced supermarkets...HUH! So if I take a fall, Im taking all these guys with me...so bring it Onnn....

THE ADULT PARTY....

"Rudy: Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze
Gary: Yeah! Yeah yeah! All the things that make life worth living for! "

Memorable Quote from Bachelor Party 1984.


You know what kind of party this is "NO KIDS ALLOWED"....... You eat and drink like your going to the chair and get friends to say and do things they would never do sober or with children around like lick that frozen lightpost, or "I dare you to pee on that car"... Anyway even though it's twelve degrees outside people are wearing short sleeves and sandals...Thank God...

So let us eat and drink, For tomorrow we die...(kids,work,hangover)...

GIFT OF THE MAGI

"USHA: Don't go. India is a dreadful, dreadful place.

ZUBIN: You know, it's the only country that still has the plague? I mean, the plague! Please! If I had to go to India, I wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire trip...."

Seinfeld Episode, "The Betrayal"


Found in a shoe bin for under five dollars these flimsy, brittle and from what I'm told uncomfortable sandals can last a person in India up to twelve years.... AND cost two weeks salary.. So cherrish your "Jimmy Choo's" and your "Vera Wang's" and your "Mootsy Tootsy's"....Because you never know when you'll be begging in the streets of New Delhi missing a hand or a foot...AND Then you'll be sorry... because you'll only need one shoe... and no one will want to sell it to you because they don't want to break up the pair. so there...

THE MUMMY?

"[translating inscription on box] "Death... eternal punishment... for... anyone... who... opens... this... casket. In the name... of Amon-Ra... the king of the gods." Good heavens, what a terrible curse!... Well, let's see what's inside!"

Sir Joseph Whemple, THE MUMMY 1932.

Gidday folks, comming to you from a strange port....Port-chester, not a Billabong in sight (an ox-bow river or watering hole)... Anyway I was bored shitless at the old B & S (Bachelors' and Spinsters' Ball -usually a very enjoyable party usually held in rural areas ) When across the room I thought I spotted the elusive albino mummy foot (very rare in these parts).. With the speed of a Bitzer (mongrel dog ,bits of this and bits of that) I pounced on the young lass only to realize she was on of them mother earth chicks wearin Payless shoes... I said " Eh shelia you know what them cheap shoes can do to a pair of foots like yours. Pay-less now, you'll pay more later...."


This one was a catch and release, more calamitous than a Brown-eyed mullet ( a turd in the sea where you're swimming....)